Living Under Constant Scrutiny: The Burden of Being a Girl in Today's Society

Today, I saw something that really upset me—a group of boys making fun of the Kolkata rape case. The way they were laughing and treating such a serious situation like it was a joke made me feel sick. Sadly, it seems like this has become normal for boys these days, to mock such issues or find ways to make fun of girls whenever they can. Girls are always being judged for the simplest things—whether we’re walking, laughing, or just talking with our friends. Girls are judged whether they’re fat or thin, for their skin color, and for their bodies in general. There’s no escape from this constant scrutiny, and we can never live with the same freedom that boys do—ironically, it's often because of boys themselves.

And heaven forbid if a girl has more male friends than female ones! It feels like society is obsessed with constantly judging us, and I wonder, don’t they have anything better to do with their lives?

It’s exhausting to hear the same things over and over: “Don’t go out at this hour,” “Don’t order food delivery if you’re home alone,” “Don’t wear this top, it’s showing your waist,” or “Don’t wear tight clothes because they show your body shape.” But the problem isn’t our clothes. A few days ago, I heard about a 5-year-old girl who was raped and murdered near where I live, and it had nothing to do with what she was wearing. The murderer even killed her just so he wouldn’t get caught. How can anyone say clothing is the issue when such horrific things are happening to children? It’s not just in India, but I can’t help feeling that India is especially unsafe for girls.

Then, just recently, I heard about a son who was so drunk that he raped his own mother. I can’t even begin to process how awful that is. Where is our generation headed? It’s infuriating when people blame girls, saying things like “she’s asking for it” or “she’s giving hints” just because she’s kind to someone. In this society, if you’re a girl, you can’t even be nice without someone twisting it into something disgusting.

We girls already have so many challenges to face, and men were supposed to help make life easier, but instead, they act superior. They refuse to support us because they think it doesn’t suit their “Sigma” mentality. Honestly, I hate how some boys behave nowadays, acting like they’re so great, yet their actions show otherwise. There’s so much wrong with this society, and I have so much more to say, but it’s impossible to express it all in just one journal entry.

I just can't shake the anger I feel when thinking about this. It's as if our entire existence is under constant surveillance, and everything we do is up for criticism. What frustrates me the most is that even basic things like our safety are compromised, and instead of addressing the real issues, society keeps blaming us. We’re told not to stay out late, not to wear certain clothes, not to be alone in certain places, but when will they start teaching boys and men not to hurt us?

The problem is so much deeper. It’s not about the way we dress or behave. It’s about a mindset that sees women as objects, as people who can be controlled, manipulated, or harmed without consequence. When boys can laugh about something as tragic as rape, it shows just how broken the system is. Where’s the empathy? The respect? How did we get to a place where such horrific acts are turned into jokes?

And it’s not just about these extreme cases either. The daily microaggressions, the constant judgment—it’s exhausting. Girls are judged for their friendships, their relationships, and even their personalities. If we’re friendly with boys, we’re given labels. If we keep to ourselves, we’re called arrogant. There’s no winning.

I wish people understood how suffocating this is. It’s not just one instance or one issue. It’s a constant, never-ending cycle of judgment and fear. Sometimes I wonder, will things ever really change for us?